I love food. I love baking. I love eating what I bake. I love hot bread right out of the oven. I love chocolate and peanut butter in almost any combination. I love feeding people who are impressed with what I've made (usually not my kids).
I do not, however, love the shape my body is right now. I'm actually surprised at how big I am when I look in the mirror or try on clothes. There are so many reason/excuses -- 6 pregnancies, 6 kids, hard to find time to exercise, on and on. But I know I will be healthier and my back especially will be much happier if I lose some weight.
For a couple weeks I've been debating how much I want to do this. The question I keep asking myself is "fat and happy or skinny and starved?" But that's not really true. I joined Weight Watchers on Tuesday. They're giving away a free month if you pay for 3. I've done the online point system before and I know it will work if I stick to it. When I eat the points I'm allowed, I'm not starved. But I can't binge like I want to. I can't eat all the cookies or sit down with a container of ice cream, but that's a good thing in so many ways. So why couldn't I just decide not to do those things?
I need a reason to tell myself no. And when I'm paying money out of our tight budget for this, I better make it worth it. I can still have my Pepsi One (thank heaven). I can sit down with a small bag of microwave kettle corn and eat the whole thing when I feel like snacking.
When it comes right down to it, I don't overeat because my body physically wants me to, I do it for emotional reasons. I'm frustrated, sad, overwhelmed, and that nice burst of deliciousness in my mouth sounds wonderful. I'll have to think of different things to do for myself now. Anyone else struggle this same way? What do you do that helps you deal with your emotions (that is possible to do with little kids at home)?